“Carrie,” Ben said. I jumped sky high and almost fell looking around. He was there about fifteen feet away, just looking at me in the middle of the sidewalk. He was not moving. I turned and almost fell on Hazel. I would have lost but instead crashed into my door with a thud. He spoke again. I was crying, so I didn’t hear the words. It was something like, “just talk to me.”
Eventually, I got my hand around the door and opened it. But I tripped on the doorstep and hit my left knee badly on the floor. Hazel was in the doorway, looking back at Ben, who was walking closer, saying my name. And “please.” I tugged her in, shut the door, and locked it. I could not move. My knee was throbbing. I lay against the door and sobbed. I covered my ears; I do not know if Ben stood there and listened to me crying. He could have stopped me from shutting the door if he had run for me; I do not understand why he didn’t. He was too stunned that he felt I needed to want to talk to him. I will never know.
After a while, I lay on the floor and closed my eyes. I woke up later, drooling on the floor. I was in so much pain at this point I didn’t think I could get off the floor. But Hazel stuck her nose in my face, and I wrapped my arms around her. She seemed to sense what I needed and lifted me just enough to break through the stiffness and allow me to move slowly.
It took forever, but gradually, I got off the floor. I didn’t bother trying to stand. I crawled to my bed and looked at the clock. It was afternoon now, 3:30 pm.
Eventually, I got to the bathroom and took another bath. My knee was badly bruised and bleeding. I scrubbed it carefully. And then leaned back in the bath. I thought about hurting myself again. But I was too tired to find a blade. I closed my eyes. But I didn’t fall to sleep. I was afraid of taking Hazel out again. But a sudden image of Ben standing there watching me and not running towards me filled my mind. He would not force me to talk to him. He was only at the door because I turned off my phone and he was worried about me. He just wanted to know I was alive more than anything else and would allow me alone time if that was what I wanted.
Spookychild’s writings 
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