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Open the Door, Let the Sun In
Let the Sun In (Open the Door Book 1) https://a.co/d/flMVJW5
Abruptly, a thought popped into Darren’s mind. Lea was staring at the water. She had admitted to him once that her original plan on the night of the accident was to drown herself in the creek. But Lea had found the stream empty that day. Was she thinking about it again? He felt panic rising.
“Lea?” Darren said again and lifted her hand, grasping it with his left, and attempted to tug her fingers off the pinkie.
Lea didn’t feel the touch. The only thing she felt was that her fingers were losing their grasp. She made a sound similar to a wounded animal’s cry. Then lifting the other arm off the side of the tub, Lea tried to grab Darren’s fingers that were slipping away.
“Lea, it’s ok. ” He grabbed the other hand. Now Darren had both tightly in his grasp. “I am here, and I’m not going anywhere. I will always be right here, beside you.” She looked at the hands holding hers. Then she looked up at his face, having forgotten that he was there with her. “I am right here.” He added, looking directly into her eyes.
Lea relaxed. Momentarily she thought the water was the only thing surrounding her. But it was OK. Darren hadn’t left her side. He had set her down and then crouched beside the tub.
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Shadows of the past
Shadows of the Past: Sophia’s Journey Home (Day of the Skyfel Book 2) https://a.co/d/cB1txOx
Understanding the circumstances better than the average person, he felt a kinship. After all, in the relationship with the old man, Cameron had taken on a supportive role and was always looking out for him.
But his dad still had done half of the work around the house, sometimes more. Wondering suddenly how much work Sophia had used to do for her mother, he thought it was a lot.
The worst part was Sophia had been dealing with multiple mental health issues at the same time. He was convinced she would have mentioned a therapist or any other support person if there had been one. But she hadn’t.
In addition, there was the commute to UC Davis every day. That alone, and the stress of the classes would have been enough to crush an average person. But somehow, she had managed the house, the courseload, and the mental illnesses in addition to a part-time job.
She was such a beautiful and strong woman, so much more robust than Cameron felt himself to be. Although physically Sophia was falling apart, after lasting years and years, and forcing herself to get up and do the work no matter how much she didn’t want to.
It must have been physically and mentally exhausting. Later Sophia self-harmed while feeling herself not enough to be loved but repeating the same cycle the next day.
How had she managed all the days of her life without breaking down? Cameron felt mentally weak in comparison, after considering suicide from being depressed for only a few days. Without support, Sophia had lasted many years with numerous hardships and was still here.
She was still gazing at him. Cameron realized she had been waiting for a couple of minutes and still lacked a reply.
So, he began, “Sophia, you are so much more than your depression, scars, and other problems. You feel so many emotions, worthless, unlovable, and helpless. But Sophia you are not any of those things. I love you and care so much. You are so much stronger than I could ever be.” Observing her face for a reaction, he felt a lump growing in his throat.
“I am not strong. I am a mess.” She frowned, not certain about his words.
“Sophia, you are thinking about the scars and your injuries. Your strength is up here.” He pointed toward her head. “I know you think your depression is who you are, but it’s only what you suffer from. You are so much more than what has hurt you.”
Then, he noticed the crying. “Don’t cry, Sophia. You are so beautiful, and I love you so much. I feel so connected to you when you cry it hurts me right here.” Cameron pointed toward his chest. “It’s as if I can feel the emotional pain when you express it in this way. Moreover, it hurts so much. How did you get up day after day with this pain and not crumble under the weight?”
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Just something
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Open the door Let the sun in
“Lea, I love you. I need you. If you leave the world, I will want to go too.” He explained. For the first time, he could feel the tug of a death wish. Tears filled his eyes, but he blinked them away rapidly. “I know you are hurting emotionally. I know the things Blake did to you are twisting inside and creating havoc inside your brain. But you are the love of my life.” He felt a tear slip out and leaned forward to press his lips against her hands.
Lea gazed at Darren now. She marveled at hearing Darren speaking these things and was shocked at the tears that fell from his eyes. “You have to pull through, honey pie, or I will not be able to survive without you.” More tears slipped down his face and onto their conjoined hands.
Painfully, Lea pulled closer. She leaned forward till her head was touching his. She was weeping and suddenly understood why there was a need to improve. He loved her.
It wasn’t guilt or the existence of the baby that concerned him. It was her that was needed and loved. If she died, not only would it kill the baby, but Darren would also lose the will to live. But Lea was slipping in and out of reality. Could she stay with Darren without slipping away?
“Darren,” she said through the tears.” I will endeavor to get better. I promise. But sometimes, the negative feelings grow strong and take over. Please don’t leave me alone again. Please, don’t leave the room without me. I can’t control it.” She was trembling with fear.
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Rising anew
2-3-2024
What am I doing
Why do I care anyway
It’s not like they would
What is the problem
With my mind made up
Doesn’t matter let it go
You see it’s the same
Only a certain type understand
I am only half here
The other part of me
Is on the page I see
In the words I write
Floating high on a cloud
To see the snow above
The rain down below
To see a million stories at once
To feel a thousand emotions
I am not part of the crowd
Unless you comprehend this
Or appreciate the passion
Do not try to understand
This is not a passing fancy
I am this great creator
I am one in a billion trillion
Constellations abound
I am among the stars
They cannot see it yet
Their thoughts limited here
Only in the now do they exist
I am so much more than that
Do not try to contain me
Don’t pretend to apprehend
I cannot be reigned or controlled
This is my space and time
This is when I rise from the ashes
And float among the cosmos
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Shadows of the Past
Shadows of the Past: Sophia’s Journey Home (Day of the Skyfel Book 2) https://a.co/d/cL82TJQ
A sound could be heard from the left. There stood a huge shed that spanned the entire back end of the house. Sophia heard someone mumbling, a man’s voice.
The noise caused her heart to reach up into her throat. Turning around she headed back into the woods. In a hurry, she stumbled and fell, cutting her hand on a branch.
Unable to move for a second, hair was in her face, but Sophia dared not push it back. Her breath held, trying to hear the sound from behind, but both ears could hear nothing except a heart pounding. It was deafening now. She made an effort to stand up again.
A voice from behind stopped her. “Hey there, what are you doing?” The man spoke.
Sophia heard the crunching of leaves as somebody moved closer. Terrified of turning around, he stood beside her now.
“Where are you going? Why don’t you stay for a while?” He spoke from overhead.
She looked up. A man not much older stood above, seeming young enough to be considered twenty-five but had wrinkles on his forehead that were starting to spread around his mouth. His voice seemed friendly but held a tone of teasing. His hair was a deep brown, and both eyes were black and hard. They were appraising her as she looked up at him, and they liked what they saw.
He extended a hand. She looked toward it, unmoving. He laughed a soft sound that grew cruel as it continued. It hurt her and created fear.
Still laughing, the man said, “Come on, I’m not going to hurt you.” Not knowing what else to do, Sophia took a hand.
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Open the Door, Let the Sun In
Trigger warning: suicide attempt
The figure appeared on the road as the headlights washed over the area. Darren had twisted the steering wheel in an attempt to prevent the calamity. Nevertheless, the tires had squealed before the devastating impact.
Darren immediately pulled the vehicle to a stop and jumped out. He assumed the victim might have been high on drugs or maybe someone that had been drinking too much.
He found the body where the truck had thrown it. The person was facing the pavement, a lump covered in material. Darren froze in the headlights, unable to move. Forcing both knees to crouch, he twisted the black-clad body over.
Darren suffered two shocks at a rapid pace. First, there was an uncontested truth. The individual before him was female. He could see blood seeping out and portions of a bra poking through the torn fabric. But then the second surprise came as Darren lifted the hair from the face and pulled back the hood. The injured person was his neighbor, the one he had felt an attraction to since the moment noticing her.
He had seen her earlier that day, walking the happy dog. Darren had stepped out onto the road to check the mail, hoping that she would at least glance his way. But she hadn’t. Darren had stood there silently watching till she was out of sight.
He had been furious with himself then and had not eaten anything for dinner. Turning on the TV, Darren had tried to concentrate but had been unable. Hours had gone by, and finally, hunger consumed his thoughts. He had gone to Taco Bell at ten at night, brought, and ate a lot of tacos. After, while driving home, Darren had struck the neighbor girl whose ethereal beauty had caught his eye.
He had lifted and placed her inside the cab, not thinking about the phone he could have used to call nine one one. However, if Darren pondered the situation, he realized that a phone call may have been impossible as the reception in the area was low. Cell phone calls had disconnected before while driving along the creek. Turning the vehicle around, Darren drove straight to a hospital.
At one point during the journey, he looked toward her and saw that both eyes were open. Darren’s heart had almost stopped. Then he had begun talking to her, trying to get a response in any way. But she was unable to utter a word and eventually closed her eyes.
Was there music playing? He didn’t remember a sound. All that came to his mind were images, blood, the figure in the headlights, tacos, and her eyes opened gazing.
Blinking both eyes several times, all that Darren had experienced ran through his mind. It was like watching a movie about the event, knowing he lived it. Finally arriving at the present, Darren focused on Lea.
https://www.amazon.com/Let-Sun-Open-Door-Book-ebook/dp/B0BTXTTXCN?ref_=ast_author_dp
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Open the Door, Let the sun In
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BTZ476T6?binding=kindle_edition&ref_=ast_author_bsi
Gloria continued doing her work, but after a few moments, glanced towards the door, then turned back to Lea and stepped closer, lowering her voice.
“I understand, Lea; you don’t think so right now. But you’ll be glad to be alive one day.” Gloria paused and then almost whispered. “I, too, attempted to end it all once and failed.”
Gloria looked towards the door again, and when she turned back, Lea could see the tears in her eyes. She reached out a hand, took Lea’s fingers, and squeezed them gently. “I’m happy now; I’m thankful I’m still alive. You will be, too, one day.” She smiled at her despite the tears that were falling.
Lea said nothing and watched Gloria as she stepped away to do the work. Lea disconnected from reality, feeling like a movie was playing. Gloria was no longer talking to her. When Gloria came close again, it was to speak to someone else and discuss something else. Gloria seemed as if she did not need any reply.
Gloria smiled and whispered, “Get your rest, Lea.” She paused and added, “it will be OK.” Gloria squeezed Lea’s hand once more and then left the room.
Lea watched the door closing. Gloria, although small in stature and shy, was a kindred spirit. Lea had never made friends with anyone at her workplace before but had seen co-workers becoming friends.
But she and Gloria were similar; both were shy and quiet. Lea was the girl who always completed her duties without complaining about them. She went through the motions of the day without reaching out to interact with anyone. Lea always did her job and did it well. Gloria had made an effort to reach out to her; why? What had Gloria done? How had Gloria tried to end her life? How long ago and why?
Closing her eyes, exhausted from thinking, Lea was tired of worrying. Falling back to sleep, Lea entered a dream.
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Moments of Madness
“Why not? She’s the favorite. Can’t I have some recompense?” She whirled around to be in front of the chair that Vanessa was sitting in. Now she was in front of Vanessa. Her nose was practically touching Vanessa’s nose.
“Did you let him kiss you? Did he even try to kiss you? Did you know that you’re perfect for him? This is your one chance to lose your virginity.” Evelyn hissed.
“Evelyn Michelle Jones!” Their mom was on her feet, furious. She dragged Evelyn up by her shirt. She didn’t stop tugging till Evelyn was on her feet. “That is quite enough. I have had it up to the limit of what I can take from you, young lady. If you were still under 18, I’d ground you for the year. I would leave you locked in for the rest of your life.”
Evelyn had a smug look on her face. “But I’m not under 18, am I?”She said in a teasing manner. She shook herself free of her mother’s grasp. “Doesn’t that just kill mother? I am too old for you to ground. But you’d never throw me out of the house, would you?”
“Wouldn’t I?” said their mother, crossing her arms.
“Oh you can threaten me. But I think your chicken.” Evelyn laughed.
Their mother’s face grew red. “What did you call me?” She snapped.
“Oh mother, you heard me. You’re afraid! Just like Nessa here. Nessa is afraid. Afraid of her own shadow, afraid of Ian. Can’t you see she’s been afraid? Ever since you made her talk to him at dinner weeks ago. She’s been losing weight and losing sleep; she’s been petrified of the man. She’s terrified of all men except for one that doesn’t exist.” Evelyn scowled.
Vanessa closed her eyes, feeling the dinner she’d eaten rising, and the taste of vomit in the back of her mouth. Evelyn was speaking the truth. The complete absolute truth.
Her dad spoke for the first time since Evelyn had stepped into the room. “What man that doesn’t exist?” His voice held curiosity mixed with anger and amusement
Oh, said Evelyn, “Just the one she named Anthony David Floyd, and he’s my age.” She rolled her eyes. “If you can believe it.But he disappeared at age 13. On his birthday.” Evelyn was back in Vanessa’s face and shook her violently. “Where did he go? Nessa? You must know why he left you. Didn’t you go looking for him? Your one true love. You didn’t love him that much, did you not enough to go looking for him? But you still love him, don’t you? You think he’s coming back, don’t you? Your sweet Tony, the one that doesn’t exist.” Evelyn was screaming now.
Vanessa’s eyes were wide. How did Evelyn know? And who told her? She was sure she hadn’t said that Tony had disappeared on his birthday. Had she forgotten that she had told her? Had she forgotten a conversation from the past? A conversation she had had with her sister about Tony. All she could remember was coming in one day, and she had been crying. Evelyn had seen her, and had said something like. ‘Are you crying because you figured out your friend isn’t real?’ Well, had Vanessa said yes or no? Had she? She couldn’t remember. And Evelyn, would she have remembered it was his birthday, would she? Evelyn wouldn’t have cared if it was his birthday. Vanessa looked at Evelyn. Then she glanced at her dad, who was looking back at her. He seemed to be watching Vanessa’s reaction to Evelyn’s words.
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After the Parade
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Spookychild’s writings 