Spookychild’s writings

“You know, if you need someone to talk to, about life and your ex, I’m a good listener.” Paul said, and I am sure his voice was softer then it had been.

“Oh, it’s just a thing I have to do for my mom.” I blurted out, feeling like I was giving too much away.  “I am not happy about it.” and to my absolute embarrassment I felt some tears slip out of the corner of my eyes. I instinctively put my hands up to them.

“You could tell her you don’t want to.” Paul was closer now, he had taken a step closer, but I hadn’t seen him, all I knew was he was closer.

“No, it’s too late.” I responded, and I was looking at him with horror. “I already said I would do it. And she already told him.” I stopped. I was giving it all away.

“You are clearly panicking about it, is it a first date?” Paul asked, and he was beside me now.

My eyes were as big as I could make them I nodded. I would choke on the words if I tried to say them.

“Why don’t you go inside, listen to music and have some water or milk and just turn off your phone for now, and try to relax.” Paul suggested. “and then try to explain it to your mom.”

Suddenly I was crying again. I have never in my life had someone try to help me with my anxiety, besides my therapist, but that was a doctor being paid to help me. Usually if I expressed panic to someone I was rewarded with negativity, anger or annoyance. My mom would get mad back or act like I was attacking her. My ex would call me a big cry baby or say I was trying to get others to believe he was abusing me. And those were the only people that ever really saw that side of me.

“She won’t,” I sobbed. “She won’t listen.”

“Hey.” I couldn’t see anymore, but I felt a hand on my arm. “Why don’t you start by sitting down?” he was saying, But I could hardly hear. I continued to cry.

“May I come in, and help you get to the couch?” He asked after a moment paused, watching me make a fool of myself. I nodded, what else could I do?

 But then my dream came. Or my hallucination. I heard a noise, a soft footstep. Or maybe a twig branch breaking.  A tiny snap in the grass. And then I looked. There was a man there. But I wasn’t scared. Some reason? I knew him. He belonged. And I belong.

He stood there so tall, so dark. Maybe our eyes meet.Maybe I imagined him. Maybe I am already mad and there is no going back.  I didn’t speak, and neither did he. But he didn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave. I turned away eventually. And focus back on the water. But it wasn’t the same. He was there now. He was watching me, not the water.

I told myself to wait. He would go away. One minute or hour. one day, two days. He would have to go away eventually something, would call him away whether he was real or fake. He would have to go. He couldn’t stay there for eternity. I smirked a little to myself sadly. Eventually. I would win.

But I am dreaming and he approaches me.

“ What are you doing here? He asks in a deep, low voice.

“Nothing I say But he circles me and I am not afraid. For he is just a dream. And I am asleep in my bed. I’m cold. But that is just because my blankets have left my shoulders.

“You are not doing nothing.” He whispers in my ear. And suddenly his arm goes around me. He pulls me back against him. “Desiree” he hisses in my ear. “My sexy Goddess.”

 I gasp a little. “How do you know my name?” I say. This is the second time I’ve heard it. Normally the dreams do not know my name.

“Because,” his hand is on my skin now, he Has worked it inside my jacket, and then up under my shirt. “ You’re soul calls to me. You want me? I want you. I was dream walking. And I found you and I fucked you.” I gasped “ And you are not like other women, you are not a woman I can forget. I will find you, Desiree. I will find you in real life. I will have you, goddess.”

 But eventually he shifted and her hand gripped him tightly and her eyes fluttered slowly for a moment. She squeezed him back, and her other hand gripped him tightly. Her eyes popped open, and she looked around for a moment before her eyes settled on him and relaxed.

“ It’s OK Mari,” he said softly and now he had both his hands on hers. “I didn’t go and I won’t go I promise.”

 She smiled then and squeezed him in return. Thank you, Dougie. She said, “thank you for always being here for me, thank you for always caring.”

“ Darling,” he said softly looking back and forth between her eyes a slight smile played at the corner of his lips. “You’re the one that should be thanked; I’m just a ghost. Somebody easy to forget, someone to dismiss and walk by and walk through and forget about. And yet you Remember me. You are beautiful. You could have any boy you want

“ No,” she said suddenly slightly panicked; “no I don’t want just anyone; I want you; I want you. Always promise me, Doug. Promise me you’ll never leave me.” She felt a lump in her throat.

 “I promise,” he said, leaning forward, gripping her tightly, and pressing his lips against her skin. He held it there for a moment and then pulled back. “ I promise I will never leave you.”

Mari relaxed for just a moment and smiled. “OK,” she said softly. “I’m always worried, and I will always be concerned because of what happened, but it’s not your fault Doug,” she said, looking him straight in the eye. “I thank you for what you did. Now we are together in the flesh.”

 Doug nodded slightly eagerly, “yes together.” he said softly, “and we will always be together even if I lost this body I would leave it to come and find you again or if you lost yours I would leave it to find you again.”

She gave a little smile. “ thank you,” she said a tiny voice. And her lips moving in perfect harmony to make the words, he found himself focused on them.